Fatalism, reflex

Juris held unorthodox views for a veteran about the meaning of war and its consequences for those who serve: “I distrust nationalism. Patriotism? It seems juvenile, literally: the abstract nostalgia of teenagers mimicking their elders. Courage in war feels like fatalism, reflex. Shell someone with artillery and there is just blind terror. No space for an impulse, much less a thought.
“The popular idea is that you fight for your buddies and yourself. True, I suppose. You cling to whatever is not alien around you that’s not trying to kill you. When you are being bombarded you ratchet down to some reptile brain where there is awareness, but no thought. Worse yet, after several such moments of utter terror, some slip into the experience like swimmers, comfortable and floating and find an odd joy there. They find their calling.
“I’m not a liberal. I’m a pagan. I think if you train people to have disdain for a living enemy, don’t be surprised that it doesn’t go away when they’ve killed the enemy.”